Thoughts on Turning 31 — Glitter for Breakfast

My 31st birthday, or Baskin-Robbins birthday as I decided to start calling it a few weeks ago, did not exactly go as planned. The day before my birthday, I started feeling off and by dinnertime I was feverish, achy, and my stomach was not happy. There were some tears, fever dreams, movies, medicine, and in case there was still any doubt that I didn't feel well, I was in bed well before midnight.

I woke up on my birthday fever-free but something was still wrong. I refused to let whatever bug had infiltrated my aging body keep me from enjoying my day and decided that I couldn't miss my birthday spin class. On the one hand, it was fabulous; my instructor had tied a balloon to my bike, written me a so sweet card, and filled the playlist with many of my favorite songs. On the other hand, there were moments (read: many minutes) where I thought I would vomit, pass out, or both. I've since asked my instructor and told me that he could tell something was off. Later in the day I went to meet my parents at The Museum of the City of New York to see an exhibit on public art in New York. It was incredible to see the work that my grandmother and aunt have done and reflect on how deeply they have impacted the city. Then, despite majorly dragging, it was then time for dinner with my parents and two of my closest friends. I had a meager appetite at best but was not going to miss dessert and OMG was it delicious. If you ever go to BLT Prime, get the chocolate peanut butter mousse, and then get another order and messenger it to me.

So how do l feel? Other than still fairly crappy physically, not much different. In some ways 31 feels a easier than 30 which felt so weighty: a new decade, the thirties, etc., etc. Growing up, I wanted to be married with at least one child by the time I was 30. I am no where near that, and that's ok. Marriage, let alone children, are very far away right now. Some days, not knowing when I'll hit these milestones doesn't cross my mind, and others it's very frustrating and even discouraging. I've come to realize that my emotions are more common than I knew, and while that doesn't make it easy, there is something nice in knowing that I'm not alone. There are many things I don't yet have figured out but, I know myself. I know what I value and I know what makes me happy. This past year has challenged me in every way and I'm learning to view these experiences as lessons rather than setbacks. I could not have experienced or gone through them before and they have set me up for new and exciting things, some of which will no doubt turn out differently than anticipated. Again, I'm not alone in this. In fact I know a few people, some of whom I go to for advice, who have also had high highs and low lows this past year. I think no less of them, so I refuse to let it change how I think about myself. I also accomplished a lot. Things that were dreams became realities and I can't let a few mishaps cloud over them; I think it's Jillian Michaels whose famous for saying that just because you get a flat tire doesn't mean you slit the other three.

Do any of you feel like you're lagging behind in the milestone department?