Wedding Planning Part 1: There is NO Chill
Two weeks ago today I said “I do.” I know that everyone says this but your wedding day goes by so fast- I feel like we just did it yesterday, and also a year ago. More on this in a later part of this wedding series, and I promise not to become that girl who only talks about her wedding, reliving the moments ad nauseam, BUT it is a huge life milestone and having just been through it, there are a lot of things I wish I had known so hopefully I can help someone… or at least make you smile/cringe at my pitfalls and fun.
The bridezilla trope is a film and literature favorite and, let’s be honest, we all know at least one real life one too. I wanted to do everything possible to avoid being seen as demanding and bossy. I wanted to be a chill bride. Well, I’m here to say that I really don’t think there is such a thing.
At the end of the day, you’re planning an event. No matter how small or large, there are decisions that have to get made and you need to weigh in. For months I was, “oh whatever works or is easiest for you.” This resulted in my bridal party having no clue what to wear and things feeling last minute like, “how big should the chuppah be?” Ummm idk is that a thing? (Yes, it’s a thing.)
On the other hand, you can drive yourself crazy looking at photos online, pinterest boards, IG accounts, etc. critiquing and swooning over a million and one weddings until you no longer know what you want. What I came to find was that like so many things in life, there are multiple directions you can take, and very few of them are “wrong.” Pick something that makes you and your partner happy. If a family member who is involved in the planning/payment feels strongly, hear their perspective and then determine what you want to do. You don’t need to make yourself nuts, but you do need to do your research, think about what will really matter to you, and then share your opinions. Don’t be afraid to disagree. Again, this is YOUR wedding. It’s allowed to be the way that you want it to be, or at least a way that won’t make you unhappy or uncomfortable. The more that you share your desires for the day, the more that you can work with whoever else is involved (if anyone), to plan something that feels really special and true to you and your partner.
The one caveat to all of this is when it comes to your wedding day, and really the days leading up to your wedding. Inevitably, things will go wrong. Roll with it. In the end, what matters is you and your partner. For me, the wedding week/day challenges ranged from the big (my sister got Covid and couldn’t attend my rehearsal dinner (thank goodness she then tested negative and was at the wedding) and my grandmother fell and broke her hip and was in surgery during said rehearsal dinner) to the medium (rain and extreme humidity leading to some changes to location) and the small (my bridesmaids’ bouquets did not exist and the band went way off script and played Nirvana and “Holy Grail”). There wasn’t much that we could do about any of it take a moment, breathe, and readjust. In the end, everything was perfect and when people ask me what my wedding song was, I say “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”
What disasters, big, medium, or small, did you have at your wedding?