New Year, New OR Same You
Happy New Year! Between my birthday, the holidays, and the year coming to a close, December was, as always, a month of reflection for me.
There is so much pressure to be at a certain place. To hit certain markers and then be settled. I don’t know about you but with this pressure, I often feel like I have, or had, X number of chances and then must stay where the chips have fallen, as to change anything after that seems like failure. I know this is ridiculous. Seeing it in writing hammers that home even more. Things can be right for a time and then, for any number of reasons, a change becomes necessary. This is NOT failure, it’s life. Still, it is hard to internalize this when you’re in it.
On the way back from seeing my sister in Chicago, I read this blog post by Jera Foster-Fell. (Side-note: I’m low-key obsessed with Jera. Her honesty, drive, and willingness to be vulnerable and share so that others may benefit, are inspiring plus she can be a total goof and I adore it!) Her words hit on so much of what I’ve been feeling and while I don’t wish ills on anyone, knowing that I’m not alone made my feelings feel valid.
We spend so much time on the shoulds as we compare ourselves to those around us, but it’s an unfair comparison. We don’t and can’t ever fully know anyone else’s story or where that person is in his or her story. What we see is a heavily filtered truth, once through the lens they have chosen and then through our own perception which is influenced by everything from our current circumstances to how much sleep we’re running on- the world seems a lot more rosy after a solid 8 hours, doesn’t it?
So wherever you are, whether it feels right, right for now, wrong, somewhere in between, or you’re not sure, it’s ok. You are ok. Start fresh today, tomorrow, in two weeks, over the summer, or don’t change anything at all. Only you get to write and critique your story.