A Little Bit of Everything
Banksy in Times Square.
It’s been nearly five months since my last post; it feels like so much has happened since then. After the death of George Floyd and the renewed attention to Black Lives Matter and the pernicious racism that pervades our country, I felt like I needed to take a beat, or several beats. Mine was not a voice that needed amplifying and while I was (and continue to have) many conversations and engage in listening and learning, I needed to focus and be present offline. I thought about posting a few times but frankly it didn’t feel right to talk about anything else as it would be missing so much of what is important to me and wouldn’t have captured what was really going on. I don’t claim to now be perfect; anti-racism is a lifelong process and I know that there is still so much that I don’t know and I will make mistakes. That said, I feel ready to write again, to share with all of you (if anyone is left). While I can be very all-or-nothing, not everything has to be about everything; I can write posts about systemic racism and posts that talk about new discoveries in my neighborhood.
That said, I’m now going to do a little bit or an everything and brain dump to catch you up. I suppose it’s fitting that my most used spice (condiment?) this year has been Trader Joe’s Everything but the Bagel. In no particular order, here are the things that have given me life, challenged me, and occupied my time:
Rally For Racial Justice: A week after George Floyd’s death, my town held a rally for racial justice. I didn’t know what to expect, the area is not known for diversity. Growing up my family was discriminated against for being Jewish so you can imagine what it was like for anyone who wasn’t white, especially Black folks. I don’t know if things have really changed or it was more performance, but the rally brought me to tears. The sheer number of people who showed up, we’re talking traffic to get into town, no where to park your car, a filled town park- I couldn’t believe it. I thought of my “grandmother” Netta would have thought to see 1,500-2,000 people chanting “Black Lives Matter” in a community that at times merely tolerated rather than accepted her. (If you don’t know, Netta was black.)
Podcasts: I know, I know, it’s 2020 and I JUST started listening to podcasts. What began as a way to further educate myself, is now a bit of an addiction. My current favorite podcasts are: Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us, Dr. Laurie Santos’ The Happiness Lab, and Brandon Kyle Goodman’s TWO podcasts: Black Flox and Do the Work.
Peloton + SweatConnected: As per always, workouts have provided calm and moments of normalcy. There’s something really magical about being able to turn off your mind and just let your body move. I was able to get a Peloton bike in May and it was a game-changer. I primarily use it for spin, though have dabbled in a couple of the cardio workouts. It’s one of the nicest bikes I’ve ever ridden and I’ve come to love the convenience. I take a mix of classes of theirs and classes through SweatConnected which is my virtual happy place. Started by former Flywheel instructors Danielle Devine Baum and Wendy Wolfson, it is a space of motivation, community, and top-notch fitness. I truly can’t imagine getting through this time without it. To see faces and people I know, to get shout-outs in real time, to have my form corrected in barre… oh that’s right there are multiple formats and they have barre with one of my all-time favorite instructors Alex Lyons (“Al”)! In sum, it’s everything.
Books: I’m in a bit of a reading rut at the moment but over the summer I devoured Little Fires Everywhere, The Vanishing Half, and Such a Fun Age. I started Daisy Jones & The Six a few weeks ago but I keep putting it down. I know some people LOVE it and I really want to finish it but I don’t know. I may need to come back to it.
Coaching: I have always been the advice friend; I thrive on helping people get to where they want to be, talking through things, and brainstorming. Over the years, people have told me I should be a therapist or social worker, but neither felt exactly like the right fit to me. I first learned about coaching from a NYTimes article, I think it was in 2013-ish. I remember thinking, “This! This is what I want to do.” At the same time, I felt like who was I to help someone when I didn’t have all of the answers myself. (Spoiler: No one does and if you could, well I’m not sure that would be a very fun existence.) At the start of the pandemic, I learned that a couple people I knew were becoming coaches and it reignited my desire to get certified. I researched several programs and found one that is perfect for me. I am now working with a few clients as I continue on in my program and couldn’t love it more. Both coaching and training leave me energized, even when it’s hard. At this point I have no plans to leave my full-time job, maybe one day but that would be much farther down the road.
Coming Back to the City: On October 10th I came back to the city. I questioned my decision a million times over but ultimately, I knew that I needed to go home. My last night at home was tear-filled, as was much of the next day, but once I walked through my door, everything was ok. I’ve been surprised with how normal life feels, how much like myself I feel. To be in my space, to have full independence, to have more than five shirts to choose from (I am trying to pair down a bit but it’s not going so well)… It’s everything. I had built up such a fear and it truly was unfounded. That’s not to say that life is perfect and just like it was in the before times, but it’s not a dire, dungeon of disease and doom by any means and New York is NOT dead.
TV/Movies/Etc.:
I loved The Last Dance and would often regale my dad with my newest insight into MJ’s greatness or other factoids about the Bulls, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, or Phil Jackson. Let’s just say, my enthusiasm wasn’t shared. One night while I was in a dark place, my mom re-discovered ringtones and for the past few months, my ringtone has been the Bulls’ walk-on song aka Sirius by The Alan Parsons Project. I have no plans to change it. I did however remember that ringtones still exist although he pretended not to care (kidding, he didn’t care at all).
Like podcasts, I’m late to the game on Schitt’s Creek. I just finished Season 2 and I must say, it goes down quick and easy. The jury is still out on if I actually like it, but I intend to finish the series and I absolutely love David.
I’ve seen a decent number of Spike Lee’s films, but had never seen Get on the Bus. In sum, it should be required watching. It is deeply troubling that a movie from 1996 feels like it is more or less taking place in current day. I hope that we achieve real change in our country.
I listened to the episode of Unlocking Us that featured Laverne Cox before watching Disclosure. I don’t think that this had any spoiler effect, and actually feel like knowing more about the film being made, made it even more powerful. Another must-see.
I can’t explain it but I have a massive crush on Pete Davidson and my dad and I get a big kick out of him. I know, it’s weird. Needless to say, we were both so excited for The King of Staten Island and watched it on release night. It was everything I needed it to be and I may or may not now own it. Also, shoutout to Pete and his mother for their incredible music videos on the SNL from home episodes.
Yes, I watched Emily in Paris. No, I’m not proud of it. Yes, the guys are hot. No, it’s not at all realistic and the clothes could be better. Still, I eagerly await Season 2 and in that same vein, The Kissing Booth 3 can’t come out soon enough.
2020 Memes: On the one hand, so much of this year has been an absolute dumpster fire and the memes about it are hilarious. But, a lot of important, good things have happened too. I have seen people take stands and educate themselves on hard topics (myself included), relationships with family and friends have deepened even as we’ve been forced to be apart, workplaces and industries have made incredible changes and in real-time to stay afloat, and many have been inspired to finally honor their true selves. Yes, there is a counterexample for each of these, but I do believe that this year, while very dark, extremely troubling, and filled with more bleakness than I hope we ever see again, has also been full of some incredible things, including opening our eyes. May we never go back, and only build better.
If you made it this far, thank you. Now tell me, what’s been going on with you?