If I Had Known
If I had known that the last time I saw my friends would be the last time we would be face-to-face for months, I would have stayed with each of them hours longer, hugged them harder, and told them how much they meant to me. If I had known that the last time I went to a movie, it was the last time I’d be in a theater, I would have gone to one of my favorite theaters, maybe even gone for a double feature. If I had known the last time I went to a restaurant, a museum, a spin class…
And yet, maybe I wouldn’t have. I’ve always found comfort in routine and find that keeping things “normal” helps me cope. Maybe I would have wanted to treat it all like it was just one more amongst many. I also want to believe that one day we will be back where we were, or at least close to it, and so none of these were lasts, just lasts for now.
Looking up 5th Avenue last April.
I read a piece in the NYTimes today which resonated so deeply. It made me think about hearing the dreaded words, “It’s showtime!,” being upstreamed for a cab (IYKYK), the downtown Q only running ever 10 min. in the morning… apparently my NYC gripes are centered around the transit system 😂. Still, to experience those truly small inconveniences would be so welcome because it would mean everything was up and running. I hope it will all come back. I long for the privilege of complaining about the express becoming local, about how long the line at Whole Foods is (to check-out, not to get in), about how I want to go to X restaurant but can’t get a reservation.
New York is magic. I love that at any time of day you can more or less see and do anything. I love that I can look out my bedroom window and see hundreds of apartments filled with who knows how many people, with all sorts of interests, backgrounds, and professions. I love that New Yorkers are the most resilient and kind people I know; really, ask someone for directions, which train to take, where to get a good slice of pizza in the neighborhood, they will help you.
I hope we will continue helping each other and rather than build back, we will build better.
How are you doing? I’d love to hear any thoughts or feelings you have.